Low self esteem can ruin your life if you let it. Your life can suffer in so many ways, such as trying to avoid people or situations that could be difficult or awkward. It can affect your social life because you worry what other people think of you. It can make things difficult at work because you do not feel confident, which then shows in your performance and affects any chance of promotion. It makes you go through life wanting to be invisible so nobody notices you, which ultimately means you are not living your life to the full. Most people at some point will suffer from low self esteem, I know I do. The difference is when I get it, I deal with it straight away before it festers and turns into something dark which torments you for days and is then far more difficult to overcome. Here are a few points on how banish low self esteem today. I hope they help.
Do not dwell on the past
Forget bad things that have already happened to you, they are gone, history. The chances are that only you remember them anyway, nobody else even noticed, so let them go and move on with your life.
Do not worry what other people think of you
Firstly you probably are only guessing what they think of you. Most people are so busy with their own lives and problems they do not have time to study other people, so you tripping up yesterday, or going red with embarrassment last week, probably registered with them for about two seconds, then they went on with their lives. Do not whip it up in your mind until it becomes a major incident and torture yourself reliving it in your head over and over again making yourself feel worse. Trust me, nobody but you cares, so let it go and move on with your life.
Exercise daily
I bet that surprised you, but a small exercise routine daily, preferably in the morning even if it is only for 5 minutes will make you feel good and set you up for the day. Making you feel like you are taking positive steps towards being the person you want to be. Try it.
Be more positive
By always trying to be positive good things will happen. It will be noticed by others, your boss, your colleagues, friends and family, and you will be better thought of and a much happier person. For example at work your boss is thinking of promoting someone, who do you think is more likely to get the promotion. Someone who is a bit of a misery always moaning this is not my job and I do not have time to do this, or someone who is always smiling, nothing seems to get them down and will do anything for you.
Smile more
Again a simple one, the more you smile the better you feel and the better everyone else will feel about you. Try it, I guarantee if you smile at someone they will smile back it is infectious like yawning and you will become known as a happy person always smiling which should make you feel good and draw people towards you.
Purge Foreign Negative Thoughts From Your Mind
Negative thoughts although a common daily experience are in no way a part of what it means to be a normal Human Being. So does that mean there is something wrong with you? Well, only that your mind has been invaded by a foreign energy that was never supposed to be inside you. If you'd like to learn about how to purge it read this.
Negative thoughts are essentially what I have called Life Force Energy Parasites. In other words they are foreign to you, live inside of you and while there they feed off of your vital life energy.
You will hopefully recognise the truthfulness in what has been said, not because I expect you to believe it, but rather by how it "feels" to you.
To get at this feeling experience simply answer the following questions for yourself:
1. Would I ever choose to create negative thoughts to torment myself with?
2. What are some of the consequences to me of having negative thoughts living inside me?
If you are honest with yourself you'll recognise that:
1. You would never consciously choose to create negative thoughts to torment yourself with. That of course means that they must be coming from somewhere other than you. In other words they exist within you but are not coming from you.
2. The consequences of having negative thoughts inside are manifold and range from feeling distracted, bad about yourself, drained or depleted of mental, emotional and physical energy, feeling incapacitated and unable to function optimally, etc.
In other words you have something inside of you that is trying to take over your life while it's also trying to kill you.
Now if any of this is resonating with you and you would like to begin to purge these foreign intruders from your mind and body you may start with the following. Place one hand over your Heart and as if you are speaking from there simply say the following statements:
1. This is my mind, body and life and I claim exclusive ownership, control and mastery over my rightful property.
2. It is my desire to banish all foreign intrusive negative thoughts from my mind and body now.
Now notice how you feel inside. Some of you will have begun to experience a greater sense of clarity, relief, empowerment, peace of mind, joy, alertness, energy and so on.
Negative thoughts are essentially what I have called Life Force Energy Parasites. In other words they are foreign to you, live inside of you and while there they feed off of your vital life energy.
You will hopefully recognise the truthfulness in what has been said, not because I expect you to believe it, but rather by how it "feels" to you.
To get at this feeling experience simply answer the following questions for yourself:
1. Would I ever choose to create negative thoughts to torment myself with?
2. What are some of the consequences to me of having negative thoughts living inside me?
If you are honest with yourself you'll recognise that:
1. You would never consciously choose to create negative thoughts to torment yourself with. That of course means that they must be coming from somewhere other than you. In other words they exist within you but are not coming from you.
2. The consequences of having negative thoughts inside are manifold and range from feeling distracted, bad about yourself, drained or depleted of mental, emotional and physical energy, feeling incapacitated and unable to function optimally, etc.
In other words you have something inside of you that is trying to take over your life while it's also trying to kill you.
Now if any of this is resonating with you and you would like to begin to purge these foreign intruders from your mind and body you may start with the following. Place one hand over your Heart and as if you are speaking from there simply say the following statements:
1. This is my mind, body and life and I claim exclusive ownership, control and mastery over my rightful property.
2. It is my desire to banish all foreign intrusive negative thoughts from my mind and body now.
Now notice how you feel inside. Some of you will have begun to experience a greater sense of clarity, relief, empowerment, peace of mind, joy, alertness, energy and so on.
Posted by
Celebrity Gist
3 Tips to Apologize Without Regrets
Regardless of who we are, where we live or what we do in our lives, there comes a time when we are called on to offer an apology. It may be necessary because of our actions or words or what we've failed to do or say. Regardless of the reason, there are a few things to keep in mind when offering an apology that you won't regret. Here are three tips to apologize without regrets.
1. Be sincere. An apology can never be demanded by someone because it would not be sincere. We see this in the news all the time. Someone demands a public apology because they were insulted or misquoted publicly. This type of apology, if offered, is little more than an obligatory gesture and is hollow.
A sincere apology is to recognize and acknowledge that we have wronged someone in someway, however unintentional. It is a communication that does not necessarily mean that we were wrong, but that we understand our actions cause harm or were in some way inappropriate.
This type of apology might sound like, "I'm am sorry that my actions impacted you in a negative way (or led to........). Please know that this was never my intention and I will pay special attention to avoid a repeated incident."
2. Be responsible. When we are wrong, it is our responsibility to admit it. We can't just wait until someone brings it to our attention or go on the defense or offense when confronted. As emotionally stable and personally responsible individuals, there is no shame in being wrong or making a mistake. It's important to recognize the distinction between making a mistake and "being" a mistake.
As people, we are meaning-making machines. We make situations mean something about us and nothing is further from the truth. If we have made an error or committed some action that has caused harm, we will find strength and dignity in stepping up and taking personal responsibility. We don't have to grovel or over-apologize, simply taking honest responsibility for our actions is enough.
This type of apology might sound like, " I am deeply sorry that that my actions caused you harm. While it was not my intention to do so, I take full responsibility for my actions."
3. Be Clear. When it comes time to apologize, do it with style and integrity. Be certain that you are clear why and for what you are apologizing. A vague and random apology that reeks of self-pity is not an apology, neither is twisting the facts to minimize our self-imposed shame and guilt and actual responsibility in the matter. How we feel about the situation is really not the point of an apology. It is about being clear that we understand the situation and the part we played.
This type of apology might sound like, " I recognize my responsibility in....(specific situation and action).....and I apologize sincerely. It's my intention to be more aware of my....(specific behavior, action, inaction)...in the future.
When we offer an apology that is sincere, responsible and clear, we can know that we have taken care of the matter to the best of our ability and without regret. With this reassurance, we can stand tall regardless of how the receiving party reacts. Ultimately, we do not apologize to be granted forgiveness from another person, but in order to practice integrity in our own life and that always requires taking personal responsibility for our actions, our words and our thoughts. Those are the only things we can truly ever control in life.
1. Be sincere. An apology can never be demanded by someone because it would not be sincere. We see this in the news all the time. Someone demands a public apology because they were insulted or misquoted publicly. This type of apology, if offered, is little more than an obligatory gesture and is hollow.
A sincere apology is to recognize and acknowledge that we have wronged someone in someway, however unintentional. It is a communication that does not necessarily mean that we were wrong, but that we understand our actions cause harm or were in some way inappropriate.
This type of apology might sound like, "I'm am sorry that my actions impacted you in a negative way (or led to........). Please know that this was never my intention and I will pay special attention to avoid a repeated incident."
2. Be responsible. When we are wrong, it is our responsibility to admit it. We can't just wait until someone brings it to our attention or go on the defense or offense when confronted. As emotionally stable and personally responsible individuals, there is no shame in being wrong or making a mistake. It's important to recognize the distinction between making a mistake and "being" a mistake.
As people, we are meaning-making machines. We make situations mean something about us and nothing is further from the truth. If we have made an error or committed some action that has caused harm, we will find strength and dignity in stepping up and taking personal responsibility. We don't have to grovel or over-apologize, simply taking honest responsibility for our actions is enough.
This type of apology might sound like, " I am deeply sorry that that my actions caused you harm. While it was not my intention to do so, I take full responsibility for my actions."
3. Be Clear. When it comes time to apologize, do it with style and integrity. Be certain that you are clear why and for what you are apologizing. A vague and random apology that reeks of self-pity is not an apology, neither is twisting the facts to minimize our self-imposed shame and guilt and actual responsibility in the matter. How we feel about the situation is really not the point of an apology. It is about being clear that we understand the situation and the part we played.
This type of apology might sound like, " I recognize my responsibility in....(specific situation and action).....and I apologize sincerely. It's my intention to be more aware of my....(specific behavior, action, inaction)...in the future.
When we offer an apology that is sincere, responsible and clear, we can know that we have taken care of the matter to the best of our ability and without regret. With this reassurance, we can stand tall regardless of how the receiving party reacts. Ultimately, we do not apologize to be granted forgiveness from another person, but in order to practice integrity in our own life and that always requires taking personal responsibility for our actions, our words and our thoughts. Those are the only things we can truly ever control in life.
Posted by
Celebrity Gist
What Are You Doing to Reduce Stress in Your Life?
Stress occurs when perceived demands are greater than perceived resources. This is a commonly-used definition for stress, often used in academic literature. In a recent workshop, a woman who attended laughed when she heard this definition. She later asked me, "But what if at work the stress isn't perceived -- it is actually THERE?"
Ok, I know what she probably meant. She most likely was thinking that her workplace was an environment consisting of a lot of pressure with deadlines, a large amount of work, and perhaps stressed people around her. I can certainly understand that! Some work environments can be more stress-inducing than others. (Think Wall Street, for example.) But I believe there are ways we still reduce stress and the pressure on ourselves - given the situation.
Put it this way. If a Buddhist monk stepped into your position (just stay with me here), sat at your desk and took over your responsibilities, would he be frantic?? We become stressed when we ask ourselves, "Am I enough? Do I have enough (resources) to handle this situation?" We rehearse in our heads the possibility of a situation going badly.
In some situations, stress can be good, but acute stressors that occur chronically can adversely affect our health.
So I'm not going to harp on the negative outcomes of stress and what it can do to us, and I certainly do not want to evoke any fear. The bottom line is that we all know it is bad for us. I like to think about what we can do to reduce stress in our lives. Not just cope or manage or deal with stress, but reduce stress. So much of it is about prevention, right? There are risks we cannot change and risks we can change. Here are just some of the things we can do to for ourselves:
Think about what you can do this week to reduce and prevent stress in your life. If you have a tendency to run late, you can reduce unnecessary stress by giving yourself an extra 15 minutes to arrive with a sense of calmness! This week, try to become aware of the causes of any stress in your life. What are some steps you can take to help reduce this stress?
Until next time, be well! And as always, let me know how it goes! Contact me today (info below) for a complimentary introductory call.
Ok, I know what she probably meant. She most likely was thinking that her workplace was an environment consisting of a lot of pressure with deadlines, a large amount of work, and perhaps stressed people around her. I can certainly understand that! Some work environments can be more stress-inducing than others. (Think Wall Street, for example.) But I believe there are ways we still reduce stress and the pressure on ourselves - given the situation.
Put it this way. If a Buddhist monk stepped into your position (just stay with me here), sat at your desk and took over your responsibilities, would he be frantic?? We become stressed when we ask ourselves, "Am I enough? Do I have enough (resources) to handle this situation?" We rehearse in our heads the possibility of a situation going badly.
In some situations, stress can be good, but acute stressors that occur chronically can adversely affect our health.
So I'm not going to harp on the negative outcomes of stress and what it can do to us, and I certainly do not want to evoke any fear. The bottom line is that we all know it is bad for us. I like to think about what we can do to reduce stress in our lives. Not just cope or manage or deal with stress, but reduce stress. So much of it is about prevention, right? There are risks we cannot change and risks we can change. Here are just some of the things we can do to for ourselves:
- Become mindful and aware of your thoughts (quite possibly the most important on this list)
- Do not make a mountain out of a molehill. Ask yourself, "Is this really important?"
- Meditate. You will feel calmer and more in control. (Meditation, repetitive prayer, yoga, tai chi, etc. all evoke a similar response.)
- Believe and have unwavering faith. Have positive beliefs.
- Be sure to make time for yourself and engage in activities you find enjoyable. Treat yourself.
- Get organized.
- Ask for help!
- Breathe deeply: Take lots of deep breaths throughout the day.
- Avoid drinking coffee all day long.
- Wear comfortable clothing.
- Do not try to do more than one thing at a time.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Give yourself an extra 15 minutes to arrive someplace.
- Turn off your computer, pager, cell phone, TV. Consider starting with a few minutes, then one hour; build up to a day!
- At work, take breaks throughout the day. Even a 5 minute walk can do some good!
Think about what you can do this week to reduce and prevent stress in your life. If you have a tendency to run late, you can reduce unnecessary stress by giving yourself an extra 15 minutes to arrive with a sense of calmness! This week, try to become aware of the causes of any stress in your life. What are some steps you can take to help reduce this stress?
Until next time, be well! And as always, let me know how it goes! Contact me today (info below) for a complimentary introductory call.
Posted by
Celebrity Gist
Your Self Image - How You Feel About Yourself
When you think about yourself, your accomplishments and your failures, your weaknesses and strengths, how do you feel about them? What is your answer to the question of who you are? How do you define yourself?
The way you see yourself determines your success in life, your status in your society and the way others feel about you. All of these factors are major in your life.
A balanced self image, knowing clearly and confidently your strengths and weaknesses, results in utilizing all your potential and skill and places you in a position by which you will be of benefit for yourself, your family, society and nation. Any accomplishment in this world is achieved through people who think that they are going to make what they have in mind. That technically is called faith; which is "... the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrew 11:1-2. None of these people underestimate or see themselves as if they are not able to do what they want.
A distorted self image, not knowing your potentials and weaknesses, results in living below your standard. It hinders you from who you could be. It makes you live an ordinary and normal life which prohibits you from exercising your unique position in this world, in your society and country.
Therefore, who are you? What are your strengths and weaknesses, your potentials, talents and skills? Knowing yourself clearly and building the right self image towards yourself helps you to be the best you can be and fill your unique place in this world. One big and important point though, no one knows you (including yourself) as your creator does. He knows why and how he creates you. Consult him to know yourself fully so that you can build the proper self image towards yourself.
The way you see yourself determines your success in life, your status in your society and the way others feel about you. All of these factors are major in your life.
A balanced self image, knowing clearly and confidently your strengths and weaknesses, results in utilizing all your potential and skill and places you in a position by which you will be of benefit for yourself, your family, society and nation. Any accomplishment in this world is achieved through people who think that they are going to make what they have in mind. That technically is called faith; which is "... the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrew 11:1-2. None of these people underestimate or see themselves as if they are not able to do what they want.
A distorted self image, not knowing your potentials and weaknesses, results in living below your standard. It hinders you from who you could be. It makes you live an ordinary and normal life which prohibits you from exercising your unique position in this world, in your society and country.
Therefore, who are you? What are your strengths and weaknesses, your potentials, talents and skills? Knowing yourself clearly and building the right self image towards yourself helps you to be the best you can be and fill your unique place in this world. One big and important point though, no one knows you (including yourself) as your creator does. He knows why and how he creates you. Consult him to know yourself fully so that you can build the proper self image towards yourself.
Posted by
Celebrity Gist
How to Get More Out of a Day
The most valuable resource that we all have is time. It is, therefore, an obligation on us to make good efficient use of it, because when the moment is lost, one may not get it back. Every single day of our lives that passes is a paradigm of time in either conscious or unconscious state. When you realize that time should be managed and not squandered, then you are conscious of this concept. People that waste time on flippant things only live in an unconscious state of mind, where time is only a mirage.
If you can handle your time very well, then you know how to get the best out of your day. Before an individual can achieve this, such must be very keen in time management. It is not because some people cannot manage their time effectively on their own, it may be because they lack the right orientations in that aspect; I bet you, simple enlightenment will wake such people from their slumber. The following tips; which I also call the "three proper" will be of great assistance in getting your time right efficiently.
If you can handle your time very well, then you know how to get the best out of your day. Before an individual can achieve this, such must be very keen in time management. It is not because some people cannot manage their time effectively on their own, it may be because they lack the right orientations in that aspect; I bet you, simple enlightenment will wake such people from their slumber. The following tips; which I also call the "three proper" will be of great assistance in getting your time right efficiently.
- Proper Planning: It is very important you are a good planner if you really want to maximize the opportunities that the creator has loaded in the day. There is need for proper planning of work if truly you want to be efficient. You must have planned ahead today, how you intend to work by tomorrow as this will help you hit the nails on the head.
- Proper Organization: when you put the right order in place, you are already on the path of efficiency. Your ability to perform routine chores at daily leisure time in conjunction with your promptness in getting unpleasant duties out of the way as soon as possible matters a lot. It is also very priceless, if you can have the preview of the day's work right in the mind as you start the day. This will make you feel more prepared for the challenges.
- Proper Coordination: This is your ability to control the external factors that are affecting your efficiency. When you are well coordinated, you will be able to deal with people who waste your time more effectively in order for you and your co-workers to be better. Your ability to also designate and allocate your time profitably is a function of how well coordinated you are.
Posted by
Celebrity Gist
How to Improve Your Creativity
There are two things you need to know in order to improve your creativity. The first is to really work on it and encourage it. The next is constant training. You can experience increased creativity as long as you work on it from now and the rest of your life.
Encourage Creativity
The first thing needed to increase creativity is to encourage it. It goes for creativity as with other things. Those who get encouragement, expands. You need to pay close attention to it. As a wise mentor said to me before, what you focus on expands. Your subconscious works on those things you pay attention to.
You need to be aware of the moments when you are exhibiting creativity and actively look for opportunities to be creative. If you do so, your subconscious would keep feeding you with more creative ideas.
It helps to encourage creativity as well if you write ideas down. People tend to take it for granted, but writing ideas down frees up your mental resources from memorizing and allocates more of it for creativity. In other words, if you don't have to remember things, your mind is freer to create things.
Another obvious way to encourage creativity is to practice. Always practice and expand your capabilities and never be afraid to take risks. This is a creative pursuit so risk-taking is part of the game.
A very quick way to improve your creativity is be around creative people. Join a club or enroll in a creative course (i.e. writing, digital arts, photography, etc.). You'll surely meet like-minded people who can influence you to creativity.
Training Your Creativity
There are techniques available that trains creativity. I'll share two of them here. The first one is "challenging assumptions" and the other is "random association."
Challenging assumptions is exactly how it sounds. Assumptions and preconceived notions are limitations to free flowing creativity and thinking. Challenging assumptions to normal circumstances and concepts allow the mind to look for different angles and possibly come up with something new. What you do is question the first impression that comes into your mind when handed a situation. That's "challenging assumptions."
Random association is a technique wherein you simply choose at random an object around you and associate it with the problem you are concerned with right now. Almost everything can be related and applied to anything else. Some works, some don't, but the process you undergo trying to find a relationship between two seemingly unrelated things can help increase your creativity.
There you have it, some simple tips on how to improve your creativity.
Encourage Creativity
The first thing needed to increase creativity is to encourage it. It goes for creativity as with other things. Those who get encouragement, expands. You need to pay close attention to it. As a wise mentor said to me before, what you focus on expands. Your subconscious works on those things you pay attention to.
You need to be aware of the moments when you are exhibiting creativity and actively look for opportunities to be creative. If you do so, your subconscious would keep feeding you with more creative ideas.
It helps to encourage creativity as well if you write ideas down. People tend to take it for granted, but writing ideas down frees up your mental resources from memorizing and allocates more of it for creativity. In other words, if you don't have to remember things, your mind is freer to create things.
Another obvious way to encourage creativity is to practice. Always practice and expand your capabilities and never be afraid to take risks. This is a creative pursuit so risk-taking is part of the game.
A very quick way to improve your creativity is be around creative people. Join a club or enroll in a creative course (i.e. writing, digital arts, photography, etc.). You'll surely meet like-minded people who can influence you to creativity.
Training Your Creativity
There are techniques available that trains creativity. I'll share two of them here. The first one is "challenging assumptions" and the other is "random association."
Challenging assumptions is exactly how it sounds. Assumptions and preconceived notions are limitations to free flowing creativity and thinking. Challenging assumptions to normal circumstances and concepts allow the mind to look for different angles and possibly come up with something new. What you do is question the first impression that comes into your mind when handed a situation. That's "challenging assumptions."
Random association is a technique wherein you simply choose at random an object around you and associate it with the problem you are concerned with right now. Almost everything can be related and applied to anything else. Some works, some don't, but the process you undergo trying to find a relationship between two seemingly unrelated things can help increase your creativity.
There you have it, some simple tips on how to improve your creativity.
Posted by
Celebrity Gist
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